Brody's Daddy Speaks

What could I have possibly done to deserve this? This is a question that many would ask when going through all that Deedee and I have been through to this point. Do you know the entire story? If so you may want to skip to the bottom for the nightly updates. If not then allow me even with broad strokes to catch you up. In thirteen years of marriage we have been trying to start our family for 10 of those years. We have had 4 miscarriages two that required Deedee to undergo surgery. Deedee facing a scare 3 years ago that turned out to be a fluid cyst in a ventricle of her brain. Severe vertigo that caused her headaches and dizziness, and most recent a diagnoses of Fibromylgia causing her to have unusual and severe pain at times.
I have watched my wife endure the longing for our child for so many years and my knowing that all she ever wanted to be was a mommy. She has even stated that if she could ever just get to see one of her babies, or hold them just to know how they feel, then perhaps she could be content. Through all of this I have been in prayer asking God for his direction, his wisdom, help me understand, what is your will for us? Add to that the frustration of knowing what an awesome mom she would be, evidence by how the teens love her and most call her mom. It has certainly put me in a position where I could have said "what have I done to deserve this?"
What I want all of you to know is that I have asked that question, but not as most would think.
I look at my wife, who is My Perfect gift from God, my newborn son, my Man Cub. I see the radiance of Christ in him and in her love for him that was so instant. I see the strength of his Grandfathers in his will. The tenderness of his Grandmothers as he sleeps, and the outpouring of Love that our family and friends have poured out onto us. The support from our church family that comforts us both, and the loyalty of my "office family" that has covered me and allowed me to spend this time by my wife's side. Through this I look at my self, the real me, the one most of you do not know, for if you did you would wonder how I ever get through life with any friends and finally I know that my Creator knows everything about me and in spite of that he chooses to use me for his Glory and Bless me with such a wonderful wife, and another perfect gift from him in Brody Michael. I have heard it said that Mercy is not getting what you truly deserve, and Grace is getting far more than you ever deserve. So I do have to ask, What could I, an imperfect, hot tempered, arrogant, demanding sinner ever have done to deserve such wonderful blessings in my life?!! And if that were not enough to know that I know that I know
that I get to spend eternity with the one who redeemed me is far to overwhelming for me to even begin to consider what I have done to deserve this. All I can do is thank God on high that He truly did not give me what I deserve. And I Thank you God, for loving us all enough to offer us redemption through your Son. Jesus the Christ.
As for the physical updates; Last night @ 8:25 Brody decided that he was done with the Vent tube and just took it out on his own. That is what the nursing staff informed us. Deedee and I will always believe that God answered our prayer and removed the tube as Brody was scheduled to have it removed today and D and I were unsure if the timing was right. So God and Brody Did it on their own. He is on C pap mask that is assisting him now. He is resting better and still has spells of "forgetting to breathe" much like sleep apnea. The nurses keep a constant eye on him and we appear to be clearing the first hurdle. Other events of the day have been good as he is getting to have some milk a overwhelming 1cc every 4 hours. He is processing that very well and was very alert when we got to see him. Tonight we tucked him in and read him some Proverbs. He was sleeping well. Thats all for now. Thank you all and please continue to pray for all the families in the NICU. We are just one of many.